How to brag
Photo by Anders Adermark
While the movie “Field of Dreams” gave us that great scene where Kevin Costner asks the ghost of his fictional dad to play catch, it also spread a virus among nonprofit groups from which our industry has yet to recover: If you build it, they will come.
This crazy notion that if you just do good work, people will notice, money will flow to you, good press will follow, and everything will turn out awesome – total nonsense. Can you imagine Adidas making the best basketball shoe in the history of the world and just quietly slipping it into stores?
Public service professions like ours are full of altruistic people who aren’t comfortable with the idea of self-promotion, needless to say self-aggrandizement. But if we truly believe in the value of our work – and our ability to do it – then we have to get used to the idea of making a case for it, and ourselves. And that means occasionally doing the one thing that many of us find most loathsome in others: bragging.
Of course, there is a fine line between bragging that is a despicable vice and bragging that tastefully lets people understand you or your organization’s value. Walking that line successfully is a social skill that grows through years of experience. Nonetheless, I hope this handful of tips is useful:
More the merrier. Include other people in your success. Rather than just say, “I did this thing and I’m awesome,” use the victory as an opportunity to thank all the people who contributed to your mutual achievement.
Boast without drawing a comparison. The braggart's worst crime is that he makes other people feel bad about themselves or things they like. Avoid that altogether. Say “We’re good at this” rather than “We’re better at this than XYZ org.”
Talk about experiences. Accomplishments are an important selling point, but so too are experiences. Not everyone has walked through an ancient forest, negotiated with a lawmaker, taught a child about octopuses, or led a work crew. Rather than simply mark the completion of a project, talk about how hard it was, how much time it took, what it took out of you. People can relate to that.
Lessons can impress. Along the same lines as above, talking about how you learned an important lesson conveys all sorts of good things without making you look like a jerk. You’re open minded, you have experience, you’ve made mistakes, you’ve acquired wisdom the hard way. It even allows you the opportunity to turn a failure into something positive.
Express joy. People are attracted to happy people. They want to work with people who are fun. Telling someone that “Saving marsh habitat makes me feel good,” is a bold personal statement that is, at the same time, not remotely off-putting.
Compliment others. Sure, the goal here is to draw attention to you. But by shining the light on others you express that you are part of a community and that you have a good sense of perspective. It’s also good karma.
Avoid the humblebrag. Don’t try to bury your boast in a statement that seems more like a complaint. “Off to Europe again! #CrappyAirportFood” Or in our world, “All these millions coming in are putting real pressure on our human resources department!” People can smell that and are turned off by it. And I mean, REALLY turned off by it.
Just the facts. Saving the most important tip for last. Don’t embellish or make claims you can’t support. When someone catches you in that, you’ll regret ever opening your mouth at all.